I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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