she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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