It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
