It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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