YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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