So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
