I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
