My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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