did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
