ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
