why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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