I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
