I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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