look no pants
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
