I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize