Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
