i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
