She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
