Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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