If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I smell like Dick and happiness
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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