is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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