If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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