planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
