Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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