my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have feelings that need drinking.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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