I am spending my child support on dildos
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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