Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I understand Curling. That high.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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