it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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