pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
