So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize