My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
