so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
