i permit you to call me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
