then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i drank out of a bidet.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
