I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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