Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
