there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
