I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
