She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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