Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
