how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
