K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
