The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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