I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
