best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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