I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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