dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
