she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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