didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
