Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize