did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
