I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
