I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
