If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
