Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I need water and some morals
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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