haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
