I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
