Are we in a gay sports bar?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
