Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
